Holiday Stress: How I Get By

There are not many people I know who don't stressed during the holidays (even just a little). Between the holiday gatherings, finding the perfect present and dealing with the CROWDS, it is no wonder the nine weeks between Halloween and New Years are deemed the most stressful time of year (I think that some needs to be remixed).

Now I have been known to be a "Bah Humbug" around the holidays. I don't handle stress well and I am even worse at handling stressed out people. My family is LARGE and holidays have always been a big deal. Lots of food, lots of presents, lots of hugs and kisses from people I only saw once a year. The food prep for the holidays always began the week before. My mother would prep as much as possible because with limited kitchen space there was no way we could cook the turkey and the pies at once. Most of the time this meant stress mode for my mother to pull things together! There has NEVER been a holiday where the meal wasn't perfect or incomplete, so it all works out in the end. There have been however screaming matches, tears, things thrown and words exchanged that clearly were due to stress and in similar situations I typically take a step back and contemplate. When I see a stressed out person, I RETREAT!  Well I couldn't just leave my mom high and dry while she was preparing the amazingness I was going to be consuming... So here's what my siblings and I have done, we removed some of the stress from my mother... Actually I think she did this but I'll take the credit since it's my BLOG (xoxox mom)

Make  a List

An email goes out about three weeks before asking what everyone is requesting for dinner (apart from staples like turkey and pumpkin pie). I always pick cranberry sauce and yes the jelly kind that slips out of the aluminum can. I just can't get enough of that stuff!

If you own a stove you cook something

Ok so I AM by no means a chef and my family is well away. In fact my older brother always tells people how I burned a frozen pizza, cats outta the bag Jere!!! Anyway so I typically get the assignment that requires the least amount of effort! A pre-packaged quinoa and cranberry medley. I can really follow directions well! 

If mom tells you to do something, do it!

Ok so this should go without saying but some of the request you get form a crazed holiday chef are weird. You nod and smile and get the task done. Should you find a more efficient way than how she explained, YOU DO NOT TELL HER!

Even when she says "you sit" you get up off your ass and do it

Ok the woman has been on her feet for 24 hours straight and its time to clear the table for dessert. You get up to get the plates and you hear "I've got it. You sit". This is really mom/chef code for "I can't believe the plates are still on the table and dessert is ready. Get up off your ass and clear the dishes." She will deny this until the day she dies but it's true because as SOON as you start clearing she sits down with her little "I got what I wanted smile". No yelling, no disappointed looks, just pumpkin pie

Team up

When you have at least 4 siblings together at one holiday there is a job for everyone. For example, everyone hates washing dishes! I mean my mother invites nearly 20 people to dinner (I'm no good at math but I
do know that's a ton of dishes). My mother's house doesn't have a dish washer so that's right ladies and gents it's hand washing and drying for the DeHaven's. My sister Kelli and I have a system and I must say it kicks ass... The brothers do the leg work, carrying dishes from the dining room to the kitchen, they also scrape what wasn't eaten into the trash (those are obviously guests because the DeHaven's are always members of the clean plate club). Kelli washes and I dry. Plates first, silverware dumped into the sink to save until the end. Fastest system we have come up with yet!

When it is all said and done...

Enjoy the time you have with your family because they next day people go CRAZY trying to get awesome deals on holiday presents or rush to get the after holiday markdown prices. That is a CRAZY I just don't understand!

Beachbody Coach "Debunked"

"OMG I received ANOTHER invitation to something called a challenge group by a Beachbody coach!!!"

"Why would I pay an untrained person to help me with health and fitness? They call themselves "coaches" but they know nothing about fitness so why should I trust them?" 

"They are just looking to get a sale from me."

"They are part of a pyramid scheme, which is illegal!"

"That protein shake they are selling is a hoax, you can get the same results by eating food."

I know you've thought these or more whenever you see one of your friends on social media posting about their upcoming challenge group. Perhaps you have been a "victim" of a personal invitation by a Beachbody coach to join a challenge group or maybe their team. 

As a "coach" who has been active in the business for almost two years, I've heard all these AND more! The truth is there is some validity to these quotes, I'm not gonna pretend there isn't. However, I've found it's actually the LACK of information about what coaches DO on a daily basis that really is under appreciated making the above points seem like no brainers. So let me break down why they are valid and why Beachbody coaches do what we do.

"OMG I received ANOTHER invitation to something called a challenge group by a Beachbody coach!!!"

There was a reason that the coach who reached out to you did. Likely they felt inspired by you or perhaps they see a quality in you (like dedication) and are simply asking if you'd like to learn more about the opportunities Beachbody has to offer. Maybe perhaps you posted about an upcoming event in which you have to prepare for and are gonna get "motivated, after you stuff your face with cake". Whatever the reason maybe, you sparked THEIR interest!

The challenge groups are actually a FREE accountability group! You are connecting with other people with similar goals and values. You swap delicious meal ideas, bitch about how you dislike a particular workout (T25 Total Body Circuit kicks my ass EVERY TIME), and are there to pick you up when you hit the 6 week slump. I've come to learn that most people are not successful in completing fitness or nutrition program due to lack of support. Beachbody coaches are offering FREE support because let's be honest, working out isn't always easy and eating clean is even harder.

"Why would I pay an untrained person to help me with health and fitness? They call themselves "coaches" but they know nothing about fitness so why should I trust them?" 

You are right. Many coaches do NOT have formal health and fitness training. The majority are actually regular people who had to fit into their wedding dress or gained weight and decided to take action. They too were likely invited to a challenge group where they connected with others, pushed play and ate clean for 30,60,90 days and saw RESULTS. They likely were inspired by the work that their coach did with them and decided this was something they wanted to explore. They are teachers, nurses, stay at home parents, lawyers, personal trainers, moms, dads, military personnel, grandparents and the list goes on and on. There are no requirements to become a Beachbody coach except the willingness to help others reach their goals.

You will never hear a Beachbody coach say "This is the only way" or "What you are doing is wrong". Coaches do not pretend that they are certified trainers and if they are then they can offer so much more to their challengers! Coaches simply know that there is a simple formula to success

DECIDE + COMMIT + SUPPORT = SUCCESS

You do actually get access to trainers every time you PUSH PLAY. Beachbody calls them celebrity trainers and they ARE professionals with training. They created the workouts, the nutrition plans and designed them so results can be achieved without having to go to the gym. Shaun T, Tony Horton, Chalene Johnson and the rest of the trainers are not "hired" by Beachbody to film the workouts.

"They are just looking to get a sale from me."

Do you know the mission of Beachbody?? It is NOT to be the #1 at-home health and fitness company nor is it to be a multi-billion dollar company. Our CEO, Carl Daikeler's mission is to end the trend of obesity. That's it.

The last time I checked I NEVER once had a person as a SALE. Everyone that decides to commit to a Beachbody challenge group is one of my challengers and I stick with them for life!!! In fact,many coaches like myself offer FREE 7, 10, 30 day challenge groups that require nothing be purchased. We invest our time because we have passion seeing people succeed. All those "#transformationTuesday posts you see are 100% successes from challengers. With every challenger that starts their journey, Beachbody is 1 step closer to ending the trend of obesity. So for those who still think they are a sale, I challenge you to look around you at the number of people in your immediately life who could use support, positivity and encouragement to lose weight, get fit and be healthier!

"They are part of a pyramid scheme, which is illegal!"

Oh man it's the mother of all questions. Most coaches get the explanation ALL wrong and then it sounds EXACTLY like a pyramid. Let me break it down real simply
1. Beachbody received an A+ rating from the Better Business Bureau
       ~Starbuck Corporation received a B+
       ~Best Buy received an A
       ~Gold Gym received a B-
2. Commission
   

3. Celebrity Trainers

       ~ On a weekly basis our trainers are promoting on TV shows like Dr. Oz, Good Morning

              America and others

      ~ Having late night infomercials would not be wise for an illegal company

"That protein shake they are selling is a hoax, you can get the same results by eating food."

Shakeology is the #1 Beachbody product. I can waste time telling you how AWESOME I think Shakeo is but the truth is in the research.  

You most certainly get the nutrition you need by eating whole foods and vitamins however there are two issues I see.

1. Many of the ingredients in Shakeo are not readily available in your local grocer or even Trader Joes or Whole Foods.

2. To purchase all 70 ingredients could cost over $400 and would require taking over 30 supplements per day... Yeah, thanks but no thanks!

Bottom Line

If you are invited to join a challenge group or learn more about the coaching opportunity, rather than brush it off, take the 30 min out of your day because really what do you have to lose? Ask questions, as many as you want. Beachbody coaches have nothing to hide! If you decide that Beachobdy products are not for you, be tactful. Don't blast on FB or Twitter about how annoyed you are at being invited or how sick of the post workout selfies you see on your newsfeed. You never know which one of your friends may have decided this opportunity to strive for a healthier lifestyle is just what they need and your snide remarks are just plain RUDE.  

Personal Devleopment and Inviting: Using it to your Advantage

It's the easiest thing to do but also the easy thing NOT to do! As entrepreneurs, continual growth is a MUST and this primarily comes from reading, listing and attending seminars on areas of weakness in our personal or professional lives.

First thing first, DO NOT think what one coach is reading is what YOU should be reading! That's right, you are in your own journey and at a different stage than everyone else around you so stop trying to personally develop based off them!

 So how do you determine what personal development you should start next in terms of inviting people to you opportunity?? I've broken it down into THREE categories. But the very first step is to do some self analysis. You've got to think about what YOUR strengths are and what YOUR weaknesses are.


1. Lack of confidence to send an initial message or reach out.

     Ok, so I know there are people who look at this and go "Seriously?? If you can't send an initial invite than you will not succeed in network marketing". This is true BUT doesn't have to be RULE for you. This lack of confidence is totally reversible and should begin again with YOU! For coaches within my downline that struggle with sending initial messages I always ask them "Why did you decide to join this business?" I hear "to help people", "to inspire people", "to gain financial freedom". My response to them... "Bull Shit... I know you have something BETTER than that". This coming from a coach that took 18 months to figure out her "real" why!!! So if you need to connect on a deeper level with why you joined this business, then PLEASE check out Start With Why  by Simon Sink.


    The second roadblock that impedes confidence is relationship building. You cannot just send massive invites to very person on FB or IG or on your contact list without knowing SOMETHING about them. You will only come off as a sleazy car salesman and that is NOT what we are about! You've got to get to know them, know not only what their health and fitness struggles are but also their financial, personal, martial, etc. The only way you will get these nuggets of information is to build a slid trust foundation. People gravitate to you because they TRUST you, they are inspired by you, and they believe in you. Successful recruiters build relationships that last LONG after the sale is completed. If this is an area you struggle with that go check out Breakthrough Networking: Building Relationships that Last (3rd Ed.) by Lillian D. Bjorseth.

2. No problem sending the invite but then you don't know how to SHUT your mouth and LISTEN.

    I think this should be broken down based on the invitation; client or business builder. For clients, gaining their trust should be KEY. I mean we are dealing with some SENSITIVE aspects and people are not just willy hilly telling people their weight or financial struggles. SO, you have to learn to listen and this starts by ASKING QUESTIONS. Not "how much do you weigh?" or "Would you be interested in participating in a program where you could lose up to 15 labs in 21 days?" These are void of any emotion on your end. The art of listening is to ask a question like "why do you think top can't lose those last 15lbs you gained after you had you last child?" THEN SHUT YOUR LIPS!!! When they have answered follow up with another engaging question. If you need to freshen up on your listening skills check out The Lost Art of Listening (2nd Ed.): How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships by Michael P. Nichols.

    For business builders we often spend A LOT of time answering the financial side of the opportunity. Don't get me wrong it is amazing and a direct reflection of what YOU put in. But I will say that if your recruiting is focused on the financial gains your team will take FOREVER to succeed. Recruiting is about building your network and there is no greater expert than Eric Worre. In his book Go Pro: 7 Steps to Becoming a Network Marking Professional great Worre provides strategies on where, how, when and who you should b recruiting and most important how to keep them engaged.



3. Invite sent, FORM completed, now its OBJECTION time

    We hear objections more than anything else as a health and fitness coach! Successful coaches know how to KNOCK those objections out of the park. These skills come DIRECTLY from personal development. You may have heard the phrase "I don know, but all I know is..." Genius right??  By combating the objection with support, you offer validity to you point. Something else to think about is validate their objection by acknowledging it. This strategy helps you build your relationship and even if they do not take your challenge or join you team you have planted the see. Always remember a "no" is simply a "not now". If you struggle with handling objections that you need Go For No!  by Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz.



BOTTOMLINE



*You need personal development when....











* Determine YOUR personal needs and chose personal development that will strengthen your weaknesses

*Format doesn't matter, only content and how you apply it

*Success in the inviting process begins with YOU

NPC Bikini Competition OVER. NOW onto...

Transformation

Well I DID IT!!! I stepped WAY far out of my comfort zone and completed my first NPC Bikini Competition. If you asked me to describe the experience in one word I'd say "EXHILARATING"!

The training was LONG, and peak week was no fucking JOKE! Some days I had three workouts followed by visits to the sauna. The workouts were not what concerned me though. The nutrition was something I struggled with the entire time so WHY on EARTH would I think peak week would be any different? It was different actually, it was ridiculously HARD! I mean the amount of salt needed and the water seriously was killing me!!! With a minimum of 2 gallons of water until the Wednesday before and at least 2 tbs of salt per day, I was feeling "heavy" (not to mention BROKE from all the TP I was using). Tilapia is something I will not be consuming for at least two weeks.

That all being said... I wouldn't change the experience for the WORLD! I made some amazing friends, learned some true hardcore shit about myself, and discovered I still have some work to do!

So on to what everyone is most excited about, the PICS!

BEST SHAPE OF MY LIFE

Let's talk about the spray tan... My friend Jessica (who won 5th in class A bikini- You go girl!) and I agreed that this was quite an experience. For a spray tan virgin, I was not nearly prepared for the experience! First of all the prep you have to put your body through; scrubbing, moisturizing, scrubbing some more leaves your skin kinda raw but soft. Shaving your ENTIRE body is time consuming, I mean I probably went through 8 or nine pack of razors in the last 12 weeks! My poor boyfriend was such a trooper when it came to standing in the shower and shaving my back, butt, and shoulders (thanks babe)!

The liquid is cold and the fan drying you is cold, the room was cold and I felt tacky afterwards. You are completely naked as are all the other ladies! The technicians point to a tent and you strip then move to the spray tent where no part of your body is off limits (my vagina has never looked so tan)! You move to another tent and "dry". The it's all loose black clothing all night until it's suit time. This is certainly something I wish I could bypass next time.

THE DAY OF

Me, Jessica and Nikki

   I got LITTLE sleep... I was sweating and nervous as all hell. I had a snafu with my hair stylist so I had to figure out how to curl my hair on my own... EEKK! Once at the venue I realized just how BIG this show was... Nearly 50 girls in novice and 17 in Class C! That's pretty freaking HUGE!! Everyone looked AMAZING, especially my girls Jessica and Nicki. I got my spray tan touched up, my makeup applied and it was time to wait for Bikini Class C. Once lined up, my nerves kicked into high gear. I was the second person to come out and I was SHAKING the entire time. Not only that but imagine having to hold a "not fake" smile for tem min! I face was def twitching by the end!

Front Pose

Transition

Back Pose

SO I learned that I have MAJOR work to do on my posing... Although I spent time on it, the suggested 45 min/day at least 4-5x week was clearly what I was lacking! Lesson learned for next time :)

Where the REAL MAGIC Happened

It really wasn't on stage where all the awesome things happened. It was BACKSTAGE! All the preparation, nerves and excitement was culminated backstage. It's where oddly enough I felt most calm and I owe all that credit to the awesome ladies and gents that were right there along with me!

<< We posed because there was nothing better to do

 I met some pretty amazing ladies who worked their asses off! >>

 << Yes we let loose and had some fun

OO and I met Jay Cutler (and no this is NOT a cut out) >>

In the END...

I learned 

~that with determination and a scary goal anything is possible

~that I LOVE competing although I wasn't pleased with my overall outcome

~that this was harder than I thought

Would I do it again???

ABSOLUTELY!!!

But for now I will EAT OREOS and PIZZA

Celebratory Oreos with the girls

MMM pizza!!!