Summer is OFFICIALLY OVER

Boohoo the summer has come to an end... I just dropped my little one off for her first day of 1st grade!! I cannot believe it! She has gotten so big and it seems like she has matured over night! Ok so enough with the mushy shit...

My Why

Vacation was a BLAST but it was also so character builder and I learned some SERIOUS shit about myself and my family! Don't let their adorableness FOOL you! These two tested me EVERY FREAKING DAY!!! You know the saying "you need a vacation from your vacation"? Well with training for my first NPC competition (Nov. 2nd is just around the corner) I didn't get the liberty to NOT train, to splurge on my diet and to "relax". My days continued to start at 4:50 A.M. and did my PiYo workouts (I didn't bring my yoga mat which was a MAJOR mistake, talking about losing grip). Then I'd go get my "Me" time in at the gym. UMM

Plank rows- EEKK

if I ever decide to open a gym I'm doing it at a vacation spot, $50 for the week!!! HOLY COW! I learned very quickly that going before noon enabled me to get my lift in without having to endure the "juice heads" (probably because they are all hungover from the night before). Mostly I encountered older people who putzed around and gossiped the entire time. One woman even stood and stared at me until I finished my set and then commented me on my hair color and asked me why I would do that to myself.

Next Dancing with the Stars

So I wanna talk about SAND... I HATE IT!!! It gets everywhere and doesn't come out! I know that being at the beach is supposed to be enjoyable but when you are constantly concerned about how much sand you are going to have in your bathing suit bottom, there is nothing relaxing about that! For some reason my daughter had ZERO issue with having sand in her bathing suit, in her hair or on her towel when she was trying to dry off...  However, I did get up close and personal with the sand, actually several times! Note to all my hot mommas out there, bring a supportive bathing suit! Of course my top slipped down several times and as my  boyfriend pointed out, I was offering a show to all the men on the beach! The waves were killer and the undertow was intense for most of the days. So I'm still a week later digging sand out of my scalp and I have given up trying to get it out of my bathing suits.

SO was I one of those weird freaks that did workout moves on the beach, UMM ABSOLUTELY! Nothing like some tricep push-ups and PiYo flips with the waves crashing in the background. I could feel the stares but you know what? I honestly could have cared less. Their staring was just jealousy that they couldn't do it! So stare and "judge" away!




 Of course there was the obligatory boardwalk excursion. We chose to do it at night. I don't know if it was the best in terms of CROWDS. I'm a speed walker so large crowds with two others that are NOT speed walkers is FRUSTRATING!!! That being said, I know what other business I would own should I move to the beach, boardwalk rides... They make a freaking KILLING! The odds of winning are slim but they joy on your daughter's face even though she couldn't do everything was totally worth it. Now I'll be honest, I went with a budget and was honest with Lorelai when I told her once all her credits were used up that was it. She knows by now that I don't back down, Kurt on the other hand she can manipulate into getting whatever she wants (although he is getting better at saying no). So how did I manage that? Simple, I held all the money...

Carousel Ride 

::Melt::

Shark Attack from Dead Freddies

Do I make a good pirate?

 We ate ice cream (more times than I should probably admit), bought a shark necklace for Lorelai's half sister Lily. So lesson I learned about Lorelai, she is so thoughtful of others. I'd like to think she gets this from me. Always putting others before herself. As soon as we got in the car she said she needed to buy a necklace for Lily. I mean she could have been completely selfish and gotten something for herself but she didn't! In fact the girl didn't get anything for herself! Compassion my little one will get you so much further in life for sure!!!


I meal planned of course before going and we took most of our food with us. We did eat out though and when you are on a high fat diet, eating out is actually much easier (and cheaper) than when you are eating conscientiously. Restaurants know that people are trying to eat healthier so the jack up the prices of the healthy stuff... Well F you, I've got you beat, burger and bacon for me please (hold the bun and fries).

We pretty good looking

Overall, the week vacation was a BLAST but I was ready to come home to my puppies, my basement workouts and my gym! Now it's on to getting ready for pumpkin everything, NPC competition and the holidays!!! EEKK

no words

Tattoos, Piercings and Being a Role Model

Is she serious?? A mother with tattoos and piercings... her child is DOOMED!

About me...

    I have tattoos

    My tongue is pierced

    I’m a MOM

I know totally cray cray that I would even think of having children after “defiling” my body like that! Get me to a mental institution and my child into protective custody ASAP!!!

All joking aside, I want to address this stigma that tattooed mommas and poppas are unfit to parent. Although I do not HEAR the criticism, it is all over people’s faces when they first meet me and my daughter. Don’t get me wrong I am all about everyone having the right to their own opinion and the right to disagree. So here is what I learned about having Tats and holes and being a mom…

My Tat and Piercing Journey

Ah my 18^th birthday, that moment when I could officially write my own absentee notes to school, buy lottery tickets, legally smoke cigarettes and GET A TATTOO!!! I did literally all those things on my 18^th birthday

now that is SEXY

(mine was extra special because it was the 18^th of the month too). I walked into the tattoo parlor with ZERO idea of what I wanted! This was a TERRIBLE IDEA (which you will learn I PAID dearly for late). If you are contemplating getting a tat regardless of your age, put thought into it! Don’t be a DUMBASS like me. Anyway, this “tramp stamp” was tribal of some kind, very generic and in black and white. I was one damn proud 18 year old who showed it off to everyone accept my mother (I already knew her disappointment). I do not have a goof picture but if you feel so inclined go ahead and stalk me on Facebook I know there is at least 1.

My second tat came about 3 months later and this one actually had “some” meaning. I went through this “phase’ where I was obsessed with the 7 Deadly Sins and of course the movie with heart throb Brad Pitt. So naturally, when you are obsessing and 18 years old you permanently mark my body. This obsession is LONG gone but I actually found another meaning for this, I am the 7^th DeHaven sibling and honestly 7 is just my FAVORITE number. So there’s that.

At the SAME appointment as my “7” I got my tongue pierced… I was literally about to start college and 

Take THAT!

thought FUCK IT, I’m expressing myself! I have actually missed a piercing but can now honestly now that I’m an adult. I went on a foreign exchange program when I was 16 years old. Awesome trip to Paris for a week and 3 weeks in Italy! It was there that my friend Stephanie held my hand when I got my BELLY BUTTON pierced! UMM not SMART when spending hours on a bus and sitting is painful (on the same trip I witness one of my fellow exchange students get her nipples pierced… UMM not for me).

I then took some time off from the tat and piercing world (mainly because they are expensive and I had other priorities). In February of 2009 I got my 3^rd tattoo and this one had some SERIOUS meaning. After my daughter was born she was diagnosed with a bilateral pneumothorax (basically 2 collapsed lunges). She spent 11 days in the NICU, 4 of those days with tubes in her chest so her lunges could heal. The hospital had the babies in cubicles and L happened to be Seahorse #1. So you guessed it, I got a seahorse and placed it on my upper right deltoid. Talk about IN LOVE! 

My most recent has certainly been a CHARACTER BUILDER! With over 10 hours of pain, tear, sweat and laying topless in front of my tattoo guy Dwaine (not to mention those others getting inked and the artists) my MASSIVE cover-up (remember that tramp stamp I told you about) is GONE! What replaced it? A phoenix and a pretty fucking awesome one if you ask me! Check out the progression...

Session 2: 3 hours body shading

Session 1: 3.5 hours line work

Session 4: 1.5 hours feather shading complete

Session 3: 2 hours feather shading

Session 5: 1.5 hours Finishing Touches

So, here is my final thought on tats and piercings and being a role model. They tell stories, I learned lessons that I hope to share with my daughter. When other children ask "What's that on your tongue?" I'm honest, "a tongue ring", "why do you have that?" "because I wanted it". PERIOD. End of convo. Do I think L is doomed to be a recluse or bad child because I have tattoos? NO, that's parenting style that ruins children. Her honesty and openness is a direct reflection of her interaction with me. She was almost as excited as I was while the phoenix was being completed.

                                   

60 DAY MOMMY BOOT CAMP

It's that time of year again

I can't believe I have a FIRST grader!!! Seriously she needs to S L O W her roll! I got super PUMPED when the mailman came and delivered Lorelai's packet. Then I started to STRESS! the school supplies, packing lunches again, early wake-ups; i just don't know if I can handle it!

I recently asked some of my friends how they relieved stress. The number 1 answer:

W O R K O U T

HMMM... this got me thinking (dangerous I know)... If there are moms like me that stress about the school year than maybe there are moms that would be interested in a B O O T C A M P.

Now if you have have ever taken one of my INSANITY classes you know, that I can be a down right B I T C H. I push you, get in your face, and require you to dig deep. Why? Because I KNOW that your head is getting in your own way.

So here is what I am thinking. We have a 60 Day Mommy Boot Camp, Beachbody style

What does that mean?

You COMMIT to the following

1. A workout program

2. Drinking Shakeology every day

How will this be different?

1. I'm going to P U S H you

2. I'm going to keep you accountable

3. I'm NOT going to let you give up ("failure is NOT an option)

Boot Camp will begin August 18th

I have a feeling SPOTS will FILL UP FAST! Complete this application to get started

Calculating Calories Easy Peasy

I don't know about you but I am sick of getting different caloric needs after entering the SAME information into these online calculators (i.e. my weight, gender, activity level and having). I mean seriously go a Google "calorie counter", you will get over 4 MILLION websites. SCREW THAT. this momma does not have time to sift through to find the best one.So here is what I did.

I believe the first step is finding the best nutrition plan FOR YOU (not what is TRENDING). This is all determined by the goals and nutrition restrictions you have. So, this being the first step here is mine... Ketogenic (high fat and protein with carb load around heavy lifting). Now I will be posting more about this nutrition plan in posts to come but I did extensive research and found that for the goals I had in mind Lyle McDonald's book "The Ketogenic Diet: A Complete guide for the Dieter and Practitioner" was the BEST for me. 

Ok so you found you perfect match, now what. Well your perfect match should have a "formula" for calculating several things. However, they can be confusing so here the basic equations you will need depending on your goal.  

Daily maintenance calories

In simple terms this is the amount of calories needed to remain at the same body weight. There are extensive articles on how to complicate the calculation but I PROMISED easy so here it is

body weight (lbs) x 15 cal/lb = calories per day

So I'll throw my own example out there. At 127 lbs x 15 = 1905 maintenance calories 

Calories for fat loss

Now that the maintenance is determined we can talk about fat loss. We don't want to lose muscle mass so decreasing your caloric intake too drastically will actually hinder your progression. So, it would be safe to say that decreasing your maintenance by 20% puts you at 12 calories per pound of fat. 

Maintenance calories x 0.20 = deficit

Maintenance calories - deficit= calories per day for fat loss

 ** Note: In order to lose 1 lb of fat you have BURN 3,500 additional calories than you consume**

So, again here is my example, 

1905  x  0.20 = 381

1905 - 381 = 1524 calories per day to lose weight

Calories to Gain Weight

Now you're thinking why in the heck would I be providing how to gain weight, well go back and read step 1, everyone's goals are different. As I am currently training for my first NPC body competition, I actually do need to gain lean muscle so this calculation is more accurate. The equation is almost EXACTLY the same

Maintenance calories x 0.20 = deficit

Maintenance calories + deficit= calories per day for weight gain

So here is where I'm at:

1905 x 0.20 = 381

1905 + 381 = 2286 to gain weight

So why do it this way?

This method is based off your body weight and can be customized. If you increase your exercise than you can increase the percentage from your maintenance. For fat lose to avoid metabolic slowdown calories should be decreased between 10-20% from your maintenance caloric need. If losing muscle mass is of concern, generally 1-1.5 lbs weight loss is your safest bet. If gaining weight is your goal then aim for 10-20% additional calories form your maintenance caloric need.